May Day May 1, 2014

It's the first of May. Although if you were outside today you would probably guess closer to late October. It was dark, rainy, and cold. But it's May darn it, May!!! I have officially retired my coats for the season. So that IS me you see shivering out there in the cold ;)

One thing cold weather is great for is running!! I am ridiculously, amazingly, overwhelmingly proud to have my daughter running along with me. We finished week one of C25K and then there was a "foot" injury. I wasn't sure if this was a real or made up affliction, and I thought our running days were over. 

But then Olivia came to me a few days later and told me she thought her socks were the problem, and she had a better pair. So with new socks and a new attitude we set off again on our running adventure. Today we finished week 2. Here's Olivia in my giant sweatshirt. Six runs in the book and hopefully a LOT more to come.

Oh, and do you see that cute gap in her mouth!! Still need to get some more pics of her with her two front teeth out.

Month One Post 7 Thoughts April 30th, 2014

If you didn't read my previous blogs, let me get you up to speed. My small group is reading the book "7" and fasting in seven areas of our lives, one month at a time, for 7 months. The first month's fast was food. Well not literally a food fast for thirty days, as that would be crazy, although well timed for the start of shorts season (that was a joke, both because bony bodies look hideous in bathing suits and because summer is NEVER going to come. My kids wore puffer coats and pants today. The end.)

We chose seven foods and ate those for seven days. Mike and I chose almost the same list to make it easy, but we differed in cheese & nuts (you can guess which one Mike picked). The foods were healthy, and filling, and I never once went to bed hungry. I also ate when I wanted and didn't gain weight, I had energy for activities, food shopping was easier, it would have been simple if I didn't have to feed those darn kids. I figured it wouldn't be right for us to be eating healthy, fresh foods while I fed my kids chicken nuggets every night. Although they would have been fine with that, trust me.

I was resentful though. It was always worst at night. I had finished dinner and I wanted something sweet. Not sweet like another DAMN orange but sweet like lovely, tasty, dark chocolate. Or milk chocolate. Heck, I would have settled for white chocolate at that point and those that know me know those are words of desperation. How can it be both chocolate and white? It can't. I don't care what people say, white chocolate is not chocolate. Aaaannnnddd stepping away from the chocolate soap box. I would get this funky taste in my mouth and the only thing I had to look forward to was brushing my teeth. It was all made worse by the fact that Mike hated the entire thing, was extra grumpy, and I was forced to act like it was super great and oh, weren't we all learning so much about ourselves with this fabulous Bible study?

Three weeks in was Easter, and Easter was an amnesty day. A day that we could eat what we wanted. I looked forward to Easter with a kind of manic fervor. I planned menus, replanned menus, and made multiple shopping trips. I thought about preparing three different flourless chocolate cakes just to make sure that one was good. Or, maybe I would sit down and eat one all by myself. I dreamed of sugar, tasted sugar, and held out for that darn sugar. Easter came, and it started out wonderfully. The homemade caramel rolls were divine. I had a few pieces of Easter candy, and avoided eating anything on my list of seven. We went to church and I got a cookie from the fellowship line just because I could.

We went home and it was lunch time. Honestly, I hadn't planned lunch. In all my meticulous details, I had somehow left it out, skipping straight from breakfast to our Easter dinner. I riffled around in the fridge and found some boring, tasteless deli roll thing and ate it. Kind of a waste. Then I cooked my way through the rest of the afternoon.

Easter dinner was a feast. There weren't a ton of different foods (I ended up only making one flourless chocolate cake) but every food was lovingly prepared and carefully thought out. I made just enough so we wouldn't have leftovers. After dinner was eaten, and the kids were in bed, Mike and I sat on the couch. You know what? We both felt like poo. Only a not as nice word for poo. We had enjoyed the food. Mike shared how he understood the celebration of Easter more now that he had done 7 leading up to it. How Lent actually made much more sense. Yes, the food was great, but our bodies were responding to all the junk we had loaded them with during the day.

The next day was the easiest day of 7 for me. My body was mad at me, which lasted until that Thursday, but I was back on my 7 foods, and they were strangely comforting. I made it to the end of the study, and ironically I am still eating my 7 foods for breakfast and lunch. Mike had a turkey burger for dinner last night (and I had almond butter and whole wheat toast).

So 7 things I learned month 1

1. Even on my worst food day, I am still extremely blessed.

2. Seven foods would be a miracle to some

3. I always eat until I'm satisfied

4. My body responds better to whole foods

5. I learned how to make new foods, and I need to keep learning (almond/pb, bread)

6. Lots of people have access to too many junkie foods, and being able to afford 7 high quality foods is something to be celebrated

7. Anytime I am having a rough time, with small things like food, medium things, or big things, I can turn to God. Prayer brings me towards peace (even if I'm not entirely at peace), opens my eyes to the good things around me, and changes my heart.

The Windy City April 29th, 2014

Today was lovely. Clara woke me up with a kiss, I spent the morning with Olivia & Mike before dropping Olivia at school, and then Mike & I went to Chicago. 

It was a headache clinic day, a blessing as this was our first SIX MONTH visit. Yep, down from monthly visits and uncontrolled headaches to a six month visit and only five migraines in the whole six month period. This is still way more than I used to have, but much, much better than this time last year. Also, my migraines are actually controlled by the meds! I know, that sounds weird, but pre-Diamond I would see an aura, take some meds, and pray that I would fall asleep. 50% of the time that happened. The other 50%, to say it nicely I would get to revisit my lunch again and again, every time making my headache worse, until I finally gave in and had Mike take me to the ER. Now? I see an aura, take my rescue meds, and sleep for 4-8 hours. I may wake up in between and be in pain, but I can just go back to sleep and wake up again when I feel better. If those don't work, I have the ER meds at home for Mike to inject me. 

At the end of our appointment today we were told to come back in 6 months and then we would start tapering my daily meds. I'm not going to lie, that makes me nervous. I would rather just take them for life and deal with the side effects, but I have to at least try. 

So, our typical Chicago trips are lunch, a trip to the headache clinic, an amazing bakery, and a little shopping. Either this sweet used kid's boutique clothing store or the mall for Lucy. Then we head back and have a dinner out before coming home.

Post 7 Mike and I's taste buds have changed. It's weird, but I did NOT want a cupcake. And I'm a girl that loves me some cake. Yummmmm...cake. But today my body said no thanks to cake, and so did Mike's. We grabbed lunch at this great Mediterranean chain. It was like Mediterranean Chipotle. It was super good and my body was extremely happy with my pita sandwich. (My post 7 tummy has been sort of sensitive. I'm cutting out some foods for a few more weeks and then adding them in to see if I don't have a sensitivity going on). I don't know the name but Google Mediterranean Chipotle and I'm sure it will pop up ;)

Mike indulged me at the secondhand boutique, but I was good and only bought a skirt for Olivia. That can hardly even be counted as shopping people! We hit a more, well, scary area of town on our way home and stopped in to a model shop so Mike could see some real life models again. The shop owner was super nice and funny. 

We headed home, but skipped dinner out. Mike had a turkey burger and I had almond toast (I know, weird right?) We were home in time to tuck the girls into bed. It was a day where I didn't take any photos, didn't "check in" anywhere, or otherwise use my phone to document life. It was just a day I lived life. And it was pretty darn amazing.

Oh, and bonus!!! Olivia lost her second top front tooth. It was seriously hanging in there in a very gross way for days, but she is too squeamish to pull (and honestly so am I!). I tried to get a pic with our real camera, but that meant flash, and she has her mom's close eyes in all flash photos gene so we're going to try again tomorrow.

Monday :) April 28, 2014

I love Mondays. Kind of places me in the minority but it's true. We start the day with a workout (it was my turn to teach, so we did all of my favorites!), came home and read stories & cleaned up a bit, and took Olivia to dance. Mondays always fly by!

Posted these on Facebook too, because I love them! Well, I love the little one in them I should say :) Tanks says Live With Soul & that fits Clara to a T.

Tonight Mike hit the grocery store and I cleaned up a bit in preparation for our sitter tomorrow. We are headed to Chicago and Holly, who runs Clara's preschool, will be bringing her home and meeting Olivia at our house, where they'll hang out until we get home. Holly is such an amazing woman, and we are so lucky to have her in our lives. I know that if the house was a mess she could care less, she is all about our kiddos and loves them almost as much as we do. I do have at least a few standards though, so I made sure to clean up some things that had been on my radar for a while.

A Post Seven Sunday April 27th, 2014

We officially ended 7 yesterday, which meant this morning I could eat anything I wanted. Ironically, I stuck with my7 approved foods as I had an early morning run and didn't want to upset my stomach. I definitely have some feelings to share about month one, but that will have to wait for another day, because so much awesomeness happened today that I prefer to share that. We'll wait for a slow news day in the Evans household to report on 7 (hello Wednesday!).

I had my first 5K of the season this morning. Last year I trained like a crazy woman, but I've been more relaxed this year. Not sure why but figured I would go out and do my best. I had a goal of 24 minutes, which is crazy town if you consider my best 5k when I was in peak training last year was 26.20+, but whatever, a girl has to have something to strive for.

Mike & the girls dropped me off, because it was a cold, windy morning. I turned in my waiver and went to sit in a building with Maggi my run buddy (and all around regular buddy too!). We headed out to the start about 10 minutes prior to the race, waited about a bit, and were off! I was a little off guard because I was waiting for the prayer, but they must have done it before we came out.

Every time I run a race event, I go out too fast. Doesn't matter what I tell my body, it just gets caught up in the adrenaline and I fly. My first mile time was about 7:30, and I felt pretty good. I thought the whole 24 minute 5k was a possibility. Mile 2 I started to feel a little tired, but there was a guy right next to me on the path around the lake, and he and I were neck and neck. He kept me going and on pace, so thanks older guy in the red shirt!

The last mile was against the wind, and I thought I was going to die. Just flop on the ground and let the pack go by until my lungs stopped burning. It was a measure of my desperation that I stopped and grabbed water at the last water station. I mean, water during a 5k? But I needed that 5 second break.

I continued on with the finish in site. A few people passed me, including a woman, and I thought, "let them pass me. As long as I finish upright I'm a winner, right?" It was just about then that I heard the cheering. My lovely family had come back in the freezing cold to watch me finish. I did NOT expect them there, but seeing them gave me a burst of energy and determination. I sprinted to the finish line, passing the lady who had passed me along with a few other runners.

After the race I hurt everywhere. My teeth were in extreme pain. My teeth people!! No idea if it was from the cold or the gum I had in for my dry mouth. As I recovered I watched Maggi saunter over the finish line. She looked great, like she was a run wear model and hadn't just finished a fast 5k.

We went back into the building to wait for awards and prize drawings. We headed back out at 11, and they were explaining that the top 5 overall got medals, top 5 in age got ribbons, and top finishers got glasses. I was joking with Maggi asking if I could drink out of her glass when my name was called. Typical me not paying attention.

I thought maybe they meant another Ashley Evans (there are A LOT of us, okay?) but no one else went up and to my surprise I was the 5th overall female for the entire race. It was my first overall top 5, and a new PR (although NOT 24 minutes). The cool thing is if not for my family there cheering me on, I would have let the chick in the black pants (I know, we ALL wear black pants, but you know who I mean) beat me, and I wouldn't have gotten a medal. I made sure to tell my kiddos exactly how important their support was, and to thank Mike for making being at my finish lines a priority.

I also won a raffle prize which was this super cool giant duffle. The girls enjoyed playing in it before I put it away. After the race we went to The American Pancake House (not to be confused with IHOP *shudder*) and then went home and relaxed. This afternoon Olivia and I went on another C25K run. I think she was motivated to see the other kids at the race today :)

Here are my kids being goofy on the lawn (I think they were drunk on sunshine!)

Perfect as a Picture April 26th, 2014

Today was a beautiful day. I got to feel like Oprah driving around and giving payments out to all my resale clients ;) The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the air still had that little chill to it that makes you snuggle into your sweater when you're outside.

The family made a trip to the hardware store, where I took the girls to inspect potties and Mike did useful things like buy man things. I don't 100% know what those are, but they are both very important and very boring. I'm very glad I was born a woman and have 2 daughters, as I never have to worry about being stuck looking at boring man things. I did however have to tell my daughters to keep their voices down as they pretended to try out the potties and yelled to each other, "look at me, this fits my butt perfectly!" I bet you can't guess which of my kiddos said that little gem?

Here they are trying out the showers :)

When we got home I decided to tackle the project of organizing our photos. I am excellent at getting photos taken, but not so great about printing them, sending them to family, or putting them in albums. I brought a ton of photos home from our trip to Arizona and it was my intent to make copies of them and send the photos back. I got an amazing deal on a photo conversion service so last night I corralled Mike, and we sat down and picked out the 350 photos to send.

Once the photos were out, I knew my OCD'ness wouldn't let me put them away without finally getting them in the proper order. It took a long time, but I am so glad I did! I've been working on organizing our photos on the computer and the next step is to make albums. Now I know what I have, and won't make duplicate copies.

Another thing that was great about going through the photos was walking down memory lane. We have photos from my childhood that have been in a bin in the basement for 13 years. We have pictures of Olivia I don't remember having taken. We have them all, the good, bad, and downright hilarious. Now I remember why we make albums!

Book Basket April 25, 2014

It's completely normal to read 5 books at a time, right? Ever since I was little and my sister helped me memorize a Winnie the Pooh book, I have been enamored with reading. I inhale books like they are my air. I ingest books to feed my soul. I read books in the car, in bed, while I'm watching tv. As I grew up, I escaped into books. 

Once I started college, my time for reading fun books dropped to nil. After college I had Olivia, and then Clara, and let's be honest, if you try to read a book after you finally get your adorable infant/toddler into bed you will likely fall asleep yourself. My library consisted of "That's Not My Fairy," & "Does a Kangaroo Have a Mother Too?"

But in the past year or so I've regained some time for reading. My oldest daughter loves to read, (duh, she's my kid!) and I would bring her to the library to check out books. Living in the Midwest doesn't have a lot of perks, but one thing they do have is an awesome library. Our library is small, but the system is HUGE, and you can request books from any of the branches. When you walk in, there they sit on the shelf with your name on them. You just grab them and go. Those of you with children understand what a God send this is, and if you don't have kids borrow one and try to browse in the adult section of the library. Yep, not so much. 

Now that I'm reading again, I can't put anything down. I also participate in studies and a book club, which means I'm often reading 4, 5, or 6 books at a time. I literally have to set an alarm on my phone to go to bed, because I get so engrossed in my book that I lose track of time. Here's a picture of my book basket. Lots of great books from friends, and some of my current reads. Honestly, I need a bigger basket!

The Pigeon & The Hen April 24th, 2014

Have you heard of the Pigeon and the Hen? Me neither, at least until a few weeks ago when we had Clara's preschool's auction & fundraiser there. Basically, it's a cute paint your own pottery place. Mike and I being the artistes that we are, of course painted magnificent pieces of pottery. Or, in actuality, we globbed some paint on a few pieces and called it a day.

Today when I picked Clara up from preschool the pieces were ready. Here's Mike's. I know, you're thinking, "a spoon holder? What the heck?" But this is actually a very sweet and romantic piece of pottery art, as my last spoon holder was shattered and I have had no place to put a spoon for a long, long time. I put it on the stove tonight but it was too awesome to actually mar with a dirty spoon, so we'll just admire it for a while.

E for Evans of course

Mike showing how much better he is then me at painting tiny things. His initials here.

I made a cake plate. Why? Because I've always wanted one. Dots are about as artistic as I get. Impressive, no?

It's a Sad Sad Sad Sad World April 23rd, 2014

I'm really sad tonight. No matter what I did to affirm my girls, no matter how many times I focused on how good they felt and how kind they were versus what they looked like, the evil monster of low self esteem has reared it's head.

It started off with a simple conversation with Olivia about what she would wear to school. She chose a skirt, and I told her it was warm enough that she didn't have to wear tights if she didn't want to. Her response? "Oh no!!! I don't want anyone to see my hairy legs!"

I'll be the first to stand up and admit it, I don't let my 7 year old shave her legs. See, it sounds kinda ridiculous even typing it. Why in God's name would a 7 year old be worrying about the hair on her legs?!!! I talked to her for about 10 minutes trying to get her to open up about why this was something she was embarrassed by. Finally she said the words that broke my heart, "mommy, I don't like the way I look." She then proceeded to sob while I held her. I held my baby girl who is perfect, perfect, and tried to think of ways to combat this negative self image she has. Turns out bullies at school have been zeroing in on my sweet girl, and she was too ashamed to tell me.

What she doesn't understand is, I know the feelings. I know hating yourself and wondering why you can't fit in better. Why your clothes are 10 year old hand me downs that are too short in the legs. I remember the thick glasses, the bad haircuts, I remember the rejection. I remember wondering what was so wrong with me that other people got such pleasure out of tormenting me. I was book smart, but not people smart. I was dorky, geeky, nerdy, whatever you want to call it. It wasn't until I was an adult that I came into myself. I realize now that all those traits that made me a social reject were actually things that in the long run helped me to be the person I am today. A happy, successful mom of two beautiful, lovely girls. Girls who share their favorite candy with each other (and me ;)), girls who love God and work to learn more about him every day, girls who have capable bodies that are healthy and strong.

I'm not raising beauty queens here. I'm raising young girls, who will turn into young ladies, who will turn into the women of the future. I want them to be valued by their heart and their head more than their physical appearance. I'm sitting here right now, crying, because I don't know how to combat this. My torment started in middle school. I was ready for those years to be difficult, to have to work to keep my kid focused on school & not peers. I wasn't ready for this in second grade. Mean girls in second grade? What do I do? Tonight I am a lost, lost momma. Tomorrow may hold some keys. I beg anyone who's experienced this to please, contact me. Let me know what you did. Let me know what worked, what didn't. Help me bring the radiant smile back to my daughter's face.

For those of you who haven't encountered this, give your daughter an extra squeeze tonight. Remind her she's beautiful because of the inside, not the outside, and teach her to seek the beauty within each person she meets.

Bread & Water April 22,2014

Part of what we've been trying to do with 7 is be more mindful of the kinds of food we put in our bodies. One example the author shared was bread. She thought she was buying healthy, whole wheat bread. But when she looked at the label more closely she realized the bread was filled with all sorts of "others" that don't belong in bread. The best solution to this problem is to make bread yourself, and then you know exactly what does or doesn't go in. That is a GREAT solution if you have any skill making dough rise, which, honestly, I don't. I am good at shopping though, and there is an amazing bread store in town. So while our diets have been limited I've been eating a lot of delicious bread.

One of the moms in our small group is a bread making genius, and she's agreed to teach us all how to make bread. Maybe this time next year we'll be eating my delicious homemade bread. It could happen!

Wheeling & Dealing :) April 21, 2014

It's the Monday after Easter, and my body is NOT happy with me. Mike & I decided Easter was an amnesty day from 7, and by the end of the day we were both feeling lousy from all the junk we ate. It was normal (to us) stuff that pre-7 we wouldn't have blinked an eye at, but I think it opened both of our eyes to the effects what we put in our body has on our body.

So today I did the only sensible things I could:

1. Went to German bootcamp. Technically, it's not German, but it's taught by a wonderful German mom and there is something about her voice that makes me want to work harder. Afterwards I felt the beginnings of being cleansed.

2. Drove around and bought discounted Easter candy. I know  this may seem  like a contradiction, but really, it's for a good cause. When I was purchasing my pricey, color coded birthday candy to decorate for Clara's party, I figured I better find a way to get that candy cheaper for Olivia's party. We just use it to decorate, or maybe the kids at the party eat a piece or two, but otherwise it's not really anything but décor. So for Olivia's party we're doing pastels and girlie colors, and half priced Easter candy is nothing short of perfect for that.

Here's Clara holding some of the loot. She was more than happy to help me find candy ;)

Epic Family Fun April 18-April 20th

With epic in the title you might be thinking we took an amazing trip or did something super special. Nope. We spent some great, quality time together as a family. And that trumps all. I'll let the photos speak for themselves.

Momma's little helpers April 18th, 2014

Today was good Friday, so Olivia was off school. Days like this go one of two ways. Either my kids fight like cats and dogs and I send them to their respective rooms by 3pm to read books until Mike gets home, or they are joys to be around and we have a great day. There is literally no middle ground.

I found that the girls do better with a visible schedule so I write one on a white board and we stick to it more or less. If Clara asks me if she can watch a show, I point to the board and say show watching time is 5:00pm, and that settles it. Without the board I get asked 100 times, and sometimes mom caves. So I guess the written schedule helps us all.

It was a beautiful morning, and the girls came in early to snuggle. While I love to sleep, I also secretly love snuggling, so I woke up with a smile. We had our street's annual egg hunt this morning. I really live on the best street!

After the hunt, we started cooking for Easter. Easter is a day off from 7, which Mike and I are still doing, so I'm looking forward to it with a kind of manic addict glee. The girls and I made banana bread, pumpkin pie, and boiled our eggs to decorate tomorrow. We also made a turkey soup that we turned into more of a gravyish consistency with some cornstarch. Because my kids won't eat turkey soup but thickened turkey soup is great? I don't always understand my little people.

We also got to start "Where the Red Fern Grows." It's one of my all time favorite books and I cry every time I read it. I hope the girls love it! The girls finished the evening by making crowns with sticky jewels. Pretty much doesn't get better than this! Hoping tomorrow goes as well since we have an egg hunt, some shopping to do, a cake to make, eggs to dye, and rolls to cook. Should be a busy and fun day (fingers crossed!).