Before you have kids, you spend a lot of time critiquing other's parenting styles. You say things to yourself like, "why is that kid crying?" and "I will never let my child speak to me in that tone" or "my child will always share his/her toys."
Then a miracle happens, and you have kids. Beautiful, rays of sunshine that make life worth living. And you know what? You realize that 99% of the things they do are out of your control. You can wish/hope/pray that they will have good manners, be kind to others, be outgoing with lots of friends, etc, etc, etc.
Anyways, I decided long ago to stick to what I felt was right regarding discipline and instilling values, and not worry about the outcomes so much right now. As long as there was some progression towards improving behavior and controlling impulses, I would let it go. I no longer beat myself up over my kid's behavior, since as you read before, it is mostly out of my control.
It only stands to reason then, that I cannot take any credit when my children do something super great, but that's not going to stop me!
I went to pick Ms O up from school yesterday. I came early, had a meeting at Clay and just figured it'd be easier to swing by and get her than to go home for an hour and make a trek back. I walked into her room to sign her out, and both her teachers made a beeline for me. They said that Olivia had done something so great that day, and they wanted to share with me.
Olivia's school is on a multi use campus. Her daycare is there, along with a few other facilities. One facility that is literally out their front door is Providence House, which is an extended stay nursing facility for elderly clients (basically, a nursing home). The kids go to visit Providence House every so often, they do crafts, watch movies, just provide some company to the residents.
Yesterday, they had a visit to the facility. They made a St Patrick's craft and did their normal routine. Then the teachers decided to take 5 of the kids to visit one of the clients who is bed bound. I guess this client has rheumatoid arthritis so her joints look pretty bad. Olivia told me she had on a bib and was drinking from a sippy cup. So, to a normal four year old a little scary.
Well, I guess Olivia took this women's hand, and held it for half an hour while she proceeded to talk with her. The woman's daughter, the staff, and her teacher watched stunned as Olivia poured all her little love into the woman.
Olivia's teachers were praising her compassionate nature, and my heart wanted to burst! I was so proud that she is my daughter. She's heard me say to be kind to everyone, and love everyone, no matter what they look like on the outside, but I never know how much of that sinks in, or if I model what I "preach."
This situation just reinforced to me that my daughter is basically good, loving, and kind, and when she has her bad days I need to let them go and remember all the great things she does.
Thanks for letting me share!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Saturday, March 19, 2011
"He who is kind to the poor lends to the LORD, and he will reward him for what he has done." Proverbs 19:17
Ever want a chance to feel truly grateful for everything you have in your life? Take an opportunity to care for someone who really is less fortunate then you.
I belong to a MOPS group, and we were asked to help throw a baby shower for a resident of Hannah's House. If you're not familiar with Hannah's House, it's a physical home where ladies can live while pregnant and up to two months after delivery. Many are escaping bad situations, abuse, homelessness, those types of issues. Each girl must complete chores, go to school or work, and participate in the household daily. It really is a special place.
We all arrived in our shiny cars and nice clothes. We sat down and talked with some of the residents before the shower. One mother, Ashley, had her first baby, a little girl. She talked chatted with us about all sorts of topics, including breastfeeding related issues. It was just like hanging out with a group of friends, she fit right in.
When the guest of honor Charmaine arrived, she was so excited about the party. She was exclaiming over everything, the food, the games, the cake, the gifts. She told us that she has 3 other children but this was her first ever shower. She introduced us to her boyfriend and her beautiful baby Arianna.
She talked about being in the NICU with Arrianna and wanting to cry with worry, but feeling guilty when looking at the other babies in the NICU who were so much sicker than her baby. She shared the joy of leaving the hospital and taking her baby home. It shouldn't have shocked me, but it did. Here was a mom whose situation was so different from mine, yet she shared the same fears and joys that I did as a mother. She obviously loved her baby, and she talked about the new baby and her other children almost every time she talked.
As she opened her gifts, her excitement grew. She kept saying her face hurt from smiling so much. Small things, like a package of socks, made her overjoyed. She shared that her baby had one pair of socks, one pair, and she was just talking about it with her friend the night before.
Someone included a necklace on their package. It was a simple necklace, a charm on a string, no diamond or gold. You would never have known that by Charmaine's reaction. She loved that necklace. She kept exclaiming over it, and telling us we needed to tell the ladies would had sent gifts but couldn't make it to the shower how thankful she was.
By the end of the shower she confided in us that she thought the shower wouldn't really happen. Although she was told we were coming, she just didn't believe that people who didn't know her and didn't have to come would want to throw a shower for her.
Going to the shower shattered any coldness that surrounded my heart. it's so easy to say, Why do people who can't afford it continue having children? Why do they keep them, instead of adopting them into a family that wants them? Why do they spend their money on cigarettes and goodness knows what, instead of putting that money towards their baby?
But these ladies aren't "them." When you meet them face to face, they are mothers, sisters, daughters, like you and me. They had different opportunities, many of them had many fewer opportunities. They made different choices. But who here has never made a wrong choice? I don't think we're better than these ladies, I think we are just different. We are the lucky ones. The ones life didn't chew up along the way. We are the ones who had parents to support us, a good brain that allowed us to get an education, or a husband who cares for us. Maybe all of the above plus.
So instead of being upset over their "bad" choices, I plan to do my best to support these fellow mothers in any way I can. I won't malign them with my words, my thoughts, or my actions. I will keep them in my prayers, and support the ministries that help to care for them with my time, creativity and dollars. And I will remember that I am needy too, in my own way, and that my God loves me in all with all my imperfections and problems.
"Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay." Psalm 40:17
I belong to a MOPS group, and we were asked to help throw a baby shower for a resident of Hannah's House. If you're not familiar with Hannah's House, it's a physical home where ladies can live while pregnant and up to two months after delivery. Many are escaping bad situations, abuse, homelessness, those types of issues. Each girl must complete chores, go to school or work, and participate in the household daily. It really is a special place.
We all arrived in our shiny cars and nice clothes. We sat down and talked with some of the residents before the shower. One mother, Ashley, had her first baby, a little girl. She talked chatted with us about all sorts of topics, including breastfeeding related issues. It was just like hanging out with a group of friends, she fit right in.
When the guest of honor Charmaine arrived, she was so excited about the party. She was exclaiming over everything, the food, the games, the cake, the gifts. She told us that she has 3 other children but this was her first ever shower. She introduced us to her boyfriend and her beautiful baby Arianna.
She talked about being in the NICU with Arrianna and wanting to cry with worry, but feeling guilty when looking at the other babies in the NICU who were so much sicker than her baby. She shared the joy of leaving the hospital and taking her baby home. It shouldn't have shocked me, but it did. Here was a mom whose situation was so different from mine, yet she shared the same fears and joys that I did as a mother. She obviously loved her baby, and she talked about the new baby and her other children almost every time she talked.
As she opened her gifts, her excitement grew. She kept saying her face hurt from smiling so much. Small things, like a package of socks, made her overjoyed. She shared that her baby had one pair of socks, one pair, and she was just talking about it with her friend the night before.
Someone included a necklace on their package. It was a simple necklace, a charm on a string, no diamond or gold. You would never have known that by Charmaine's reaction. She loved that necklace. She kept exclaiming over it, and telling us we needed to tell the ladies would had sent gifts but couldn't make it to the shower how thankful she was.
By the end of the shower she confided in us that she thought the shower wouldn't really happen. Although she was told we were coming, she just didn't believe that people who didn't know her and didn't have to come would want to throw a shower for her.
Going to the shower shattered any coldness that surrounded my heart. it's so easy to say, Why do people who can't afford it continue having children? Why do they keep them, instead of adopting them into a family that wants them? Why do they spend their money on cigarettes and goodness knows what, instead of putting that money towards their baby?
But these ladies aren't "them." When you meet them face to face, they are mothers, sisters, daughters, like you and me. They had different opportunities, many of them had many fewer opportunities. They made different choices. But who here has never made a wrong choice? I don't think we're better than these ladies, I think we are just different. We are the lucky ones. The ones life didn't chew up along the way. We are the ones who had parents to support us, a good brain that allowed us to get an education, or a husband who cares for us. Maybe all of the above plus.
So instead of being upset over their "bad" choices, I plan to do my best to support these fellow mothers in any way I can. I won't malign them with my words, my thoughts, or my actions. I will keep them in my prayers, and support the ministries that help to care for them with my time, creativity and dollars. And I will remember that I am needy too, in my own way, and that my God loves me in all with all my imperfections and problems.
Maybe yoga isn't for the birds!
I love to exercise, but my usual goal is to burn a few calories, not enrich my soul or any mumbo jumbo like that. I took a yoga class once with my best friend Candace, and it always went great until the end, when the teacher would ring these tiny finger symbols and I would attempt to stifle the urge to giggle.
Fast forward 5 years, and I still like to "feel the burn!" Yes, I would love to have someone yell those words in my face, it actually motivates me to work harder. Crazy, I know. Well, the class I go to for aerobic and cardio exercise had a challenge you could sign up for starting February. Everyone knows I love a challenge, so of course I signed up. The challenge is called the Mother Love Challenge (or MoLo for short) and there is a different challenge area each month.
February's challenge was sadism. Okay, maybe that wasn't what the "official" title was, but you try to do as many jump squats (don't bend over, now, bend at the knee and touch the floor with those fingers), push ups (not the girl kind either, although last time I checked I was still a girl!) in a row as you can, and then round it out by holding a full body plank on your toes not knees for as long as you can, and you tell me, sadistic? Me thinks so!
I was so happy to leave February in the dust, and move to March. I think the March's area may be core, but the exercises are all stretches so maybe it's stretching. Anyways, no matter. I haven't been to class much due to the horde of evil germs that descended upon my home, but I have been stretching almost every day.
One of the stretches we have to do is the tree pose. You know, the one where you put one foot on your knee (or higher, if you're made of silly putty), put your hands over your head, and hold. Now you probably have the wrong picture in your head cause my describing skills are a little sketch, but just go with me. The kicker is you then close your eyes, and try to keep your balance.
On Friday at class our instructor Melissa times our poses. Since I haven't been in, err, a while, I haven't had any times done. I also had no idea what a "good" number was, and frankly, I didn't care, as i really just want to beat myself. Anyways, I did my tree pose and held it for 1 min 11 secs. I thought that was decent, I was happy with it. After we all were timed, Melissa said she was distributing the month's prizes early, and the person who held the pose the longest got to pick first. And guess what?! Yes, by now you probably guessed it, or you need to read more suspense novels so you get that whole plot development thing down.
Yes, I won! And the sponsor this month was Marie D's bows, and I love, love, love her bows. I already own quite a few ;) Since I have 2 girls, Melissa let me pick two bows. Woo-hoo! I got some simple bows, but the girls love them, and Olivia called dibs on the pink one.
Fast forward 5 years, and I still like to "feel the burn!" Yes, I would love to have someone yell those words in my face, it actually motivates me to work harder. Crazy, I know. Well, the class I go to for aerobic and cardio exercise had a challenge you could sign up for starting February. Everyone knows I love a challenge, so of course I signed up. The challenge is called the Mother Love Challenge (or MoLo for short) and there is a different challenge area each month.
February's challenge was sadism. Okay, maybe that wasn't what the "official" title was, but you try to do as many jump squats (don't bend over, now, bend at the knee and touch the floor with those fingers), push ups (not the girl kind either, although last time I checked I was still a girl!) in a row as you can, and then round it out by holding a full body plank on your toes not knees for as long as you can, and you tell me, sadistic? Me thinks so!
I was so happy to leave February in the dust, and move to March. I think the March's area may be core, but the exercises are all stretches so maybe it's stretching. Anyways, no matter. I haven't been to class much due to the horde of evil germs that descended upon my home, but I have been stretching almost every day.
One of the stretches we have to do is the tree pose. You know, the one where you put one foot on your knee (or higher, if you're made of silly putty), put your hands over your head, and hold. Now you probably have the wrong picture in your head cause my describing skills are a little sketch, but just go with me. The kicker is you then close your eyes, and try to keep your balance.
On Friday at class our instructor Melissa times our poses. Since I haven't been in, err, a while, I haven't had any times done. I also had no idea what a "good" number was, and frankly, I didn't care, as i really just want to beat myself. Anyways, I did my tree pose and held it for 1 min 11 secs. I thought that was decent, I was happy with it. After we all were timed, Melissa said she was distributing the month's prizes early, and the person who held the pose the longest got to pick first. And guess what?! Yes, by now you probably guessed it, or you need to read more suspense novels so you get that whole plot development thing down.
Yes, I won! And the sponsor this month was Marie D's bows, and I love, love, love her bows. I already own quite a few ;) Since I have 2 girls, Melissa let me pick two bows. Woo-hoo! I got some simple bows, but the girls love them, and Olivia called dibs on the pink one.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Laundry Blues!
Oooooo...super fun mail day! I opened the box and found an envelope from bzzagent and a mailer for bath and body works. The bath and body mailer had a coupon for a free product. Perfect timing since I need to head to the mall to use my JcPenney $10 gift card that came Tuesday, and I have a few free product cards for my favorite "grown up" mall store. I'll have to steer clear of the big G though. I'm saving my dollars for the launch of the new Matilda Jane line, just talked with the trunk keeper today!
The bzzagent envelope had my coupons for 2 free Silk products! Yay, now I don't have to pick between the almond and coconut milk, I can try both. Also, they sent some $1 off coupons in case any of my lovely readers would like one. Just let me know.
On a totally unrelated note, I really need to put away the laundry. I love buying clothes, and I don't mind washing and drying them, but I hate putting them away. Mike helps, he hangs up both his and my clothes after they're washed. Unfortunately, he, like most sane people, does not understand the method behind Gymboree matching. So what a normal person would thing goes together in an outfit since both pieces are of similar/coordinating colors, us Gymbo freaks will immediately recognize as NOT MATCHING. I use terms like "Smart Girls Rule," "Pop of Daisies," and "Hair Curlies." His eyes glaze over. If I want the girls to wear the outfits together in the way they were bought, I have to put the pieces together and hang them up. And when they each have how many pieces.......?
You can tell the laundry is bad, since the last few days both girls have been wearing some interesting outfits. We're out of the Gymboree, or out of the stuff that fits right. I keep hoping it will be warm enough to break out the spring/summer clothes, and I will be spared the tedium of matching all the winter stuff. But guess what, not happening.
At least there's plenty of good tv to watch tonight as I work. Think of me, fellow laundry haters. And if you love laundry, then get your butt over here and help. I have a jello pudding cup with your name on it.
The bzzagent envelope had my coupons for 2 free Silk products! Yay, now I don't have to pick between the almond and coconut milk, I can try both. Also, they sent some $1 off coupons in case any of my lovely readers would like one. Just let me know.
On a totally unrelated note, I really need to put away the laundry. I love buying clothes, and I don't mind washing and drying them, but I hate putting them away. Mike helps, he hangs up both his and my clothes after they're washed. Unfortunately, he, like most sane people, does not understand the method behind Gymboree matching. So what a normal person would thing goes together in an outfit since both pieces are of similar/coordinating colors, us Gymbo freaks will immediately recognize as NOT MATCHING. I use terms like "Smart Girls Rule," "Pop of Daisies," and "Hair Curlies." His eyes glaze over. If I want the girls to wear the outfits together in the way they were bought, I have to put the pieces together and hang them up. And when they each have how many pieces.......?
You can tell the laundry is bad, since the last few days both girls have been wearing some interesting outfits. We're out of the Gymboree, or out of the stuff that fits right. I keep hoping it will be warm enough to break out the spring/summer clothes, and I will be spared the tedium of matching all the winter stuff. But guess what, not happening.
At least there's plenty of good tv to watch tonight as I work. Think of me, fellow laundry haters. And if you love laundry, then get your butt over here and help. I have a jello pudding cup with your name on it.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
These are a few of my favorite things....
What a fun and busy week! Clara turned one on Monday, and the week's activities sort of revolved around that milestone. Late last week we received a box from my Grandma Marlis. Let me preface the contents of the box by saying that the things I have from my childhood that I love the most came from my Grandma. She always made blankets for each of her grandkids, quilts, crocheted afghans, you name it, she can make it. One of my favorite blankets is a raggedy Anne and Andy one given to me in childhood. To this day when my friends come over to watch movies and hang out, it's the blanket they all want to use. It's super soft from being washed so many times, and just the right size to cover you from head to toe. Not being a seamstress, I don't know what I'll do when the blanket inevitably gets it's first hole, never mind the fact that 30 year old fabric won't be easy to come by, but I won't worry about that until I have to.
Anyways, when I saw the box, I was so excited, since I knew what would be inside. And yes, you guessed it, it was Clara's afghan from my Grandma. She also sent some crocheted bibs for Clara as well. I love those bibs. I still have the one she sent for Olivia. I've never used it since it's so pretty and I don't want to get it dirty or messed up, even though I know I should.
Anyways, when I saw the box, I was so excited, since I knew what would be inside. And yes, you guessed it, it was Clara's afghan from my Grandma. She also sent some crocheted bibs for Clara as well. I love those bibs. I still have the one she sent for Olivia. I've never used it since it's so pretty and I don't want to get it dirty or messed up, even though I know I should.
Clara's very first birthday card!
Olivia loving her dolly that Great Grandma Sent!
The box also had Clara's first ever birthday card inside. Clara of course immediately tried to eat the card, but I think deep down she was pretty excited to get it!
On Sunday, we let Clara open her gifts from us. Even though her actual birthday wasn't until the next day, she gets grumpy and ready for bed by about 6, and Mike gets home at 5:45. Not much time for birthday fun, and we wanted her to enjoy her gifts a little. We only got her a few things, since she's one and frankly, she would probably like to play with the paper as much as the actual gifts. She opened the gifts, or really Olivia did, but she pretty much ignored everything. She was more interested in the train table then her new presents. Later in the week she did start playing with them more, maybe she was overwhelmed from all the attention.
Yes, that is Christmas paper. I have firm beliefs about buying special paper for birthdays!
A few pics of Clara on her actual birthday. Birthday tutu #1, courtesy of Jama! Thanks Jama :)
On Saturday, we planned to have her Auntie Rachel visit, as well as a few adult friends for some cake. I didn't plan to do a big party, since again, she's one, and she really doesn't care. In fact, I figured it would be more overwhelming than anything. But the cake I did want to do, I was so excited about it. Olivia and I had looked at lots of different cakes, and I let her pick the one we would make. She changed her mind several times, but finally we had it narrowed down to the owl cake.
I had everything planned out. Wednesday, I'd make a list of everything we needed, Thursday, when O was off of school, we'd hit the grocery store, and Friday would be cake making day. Which left Saturday for relaxing and hitting a friend's birthday party. Of course, you know what they say about the best laid plans. Yep, a migraine laid a big ol' egg on those plans. We ended up with a lot of last minute scrambling, sent daddy to multiple stores to find the "right" ingredients, the man has the patience of a saint. Has to being married to yours truly. Auntie Rachel ended up not making it due to illness, and even with all those problems, we still had a great time. The cake turned out just fine, and Clara LOVED her piece. So all in all a successful week.
What we started with
The finished product!
Silly Uncle Adam
Covergirl Result!
I am happy to report my week of wearing the Covergirl Lip Perfection lipstick has come to a close. I definitely liked the lipstick, I just think the color I chose was more appropriate for evenings then daytime, so sometimes I felt a little "2 dollar special" when I wore it to pick up Olivia from school. There are other colors though, and I will definitely give them a try.
The lipstick was moisturizing, but I can't say I feel a difference in my lips after 7 days. The lipstick did have a lot to contend with though, seeing as my lips have been through the Sahara desert of lip treatments, a winter in Indiana.
The color did last, which was my favorite thing about the lipstick.
Now to what you really care about....the winner of the Hot Passion Lip Perfection Lipstick.
The winner (chosen randomly) is.....Angel! Hope you let us know how you like the lipstick too!
The lipstick was moisturizing, but I can't say I feel a difference in my lips after 7 days. The lipstick did have a lot to contend with though, seeing as my lips have been through the Sahara desert of lip treatments, a winter in Indiana.
The color did last, which was my favorite thing about the lipstick.
Now to what you really care about....the winner of the Hot Passion Lip Perfection Lipstick.
The winner (chosen randomly) is.....Angel! Hope you let us know how you like the lipstick too!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
In the name of recycling and a green earth...free play clothes
Hey everyone! I'm done tagging my clothes for resale, and I have some of my own and some client's clothes that are up for donation. Here's the deal. These are NOT perfect clothes. Almost all have stains on them of some kind. Some have a little hole in them. There are a few of mine that are just not my style, but I am guessing they won't be anybody dressing their kid after the 1980's style either.
I can cut the clothes up for rags, but before I do, I'm offering them here to anyone who needs them and can use them (as clothes, not rags!). If you don't need them, but know someone who does, please let me know.
If there are no takers here I'll post on Craigslist and Freecycle, but wanted to give you dibs first. So far I have only gone through spring/summer items. Again, these would probably be PLAY CLOTHES or LAYERING ITEMS.
Here's what's available:
Bibs-21 girl, 4 boy, 7 gender neutral
Crib Sheets-2 girl
Onesies-35 various onesies, boy, girl, gender neutral. Sizes between 0-3 and 12 month
baby girl summer outfits-6 sized between 0-3 and 6 months
1 Gymbo tulle dress (had high hopes of getting the stains out of this one, but it's silk so alas no!)- 12-18mo
Girl's tops- 18 sized 18mo/2T
Girls Bottoms-9, sized between 6-12mo and 2T
Pjs-1 pair 18 mo girl
I can cut the clothes up for rags, but before I do, I'm offering them here to anyone who needs them and can use them (as clothes, not rags!). If you don't need them, but know someone who does, please let me know.
If there are no takers here I'll post on Craigslist and Freecycle, but wanted to give you dibs first. So far I have only gone through spring/summer items. Again, these would probably be PLAY CLOTHES or LAYERING ITEMS.
Here's what's available:
Bibs-21 girl, 4 boy, 7 gender neutral
Crib Sheets-2 girl
Onesies-35 various onesies, boy, girl, gender neutral. Sizes between 0-3 and 12 month
baby girl summer outfits-6 sized between 0-3 and 6 months
1 Gymbo tulle dress (had high hopes of getting the stains out of this one, but it's silk so alas no!)- 12-18mo
Girl's tops- 18 sized 18mo/2T
Girls Bottoms-9, sized between 6-12mo and 2T
Pjs-1 pair 18 mo girl
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