Yes, Olivia, there is a Santa Claus...

And he's really nice but his elf is an a*# head!

I debated on writing this post, since it is the week before Christmas and we are all full of holiday cheer, but I was just to ticked to let this one go!

We have had multiple opportunities to see Jolly ol' Saint Nick for free this season. Of course, each and every time something came up that stopped me from being able to bring both girls. And 99% of the time, it was because one or all of us was sick. But I was determined to get a Santa photo with both of my girls dressed in their holiday finest. I figured Clara would be crying, she hates anything remotely "scary" (like the menacing Chick Fil A cow) but I had been prepping her by showing Santa on tv and talking to her in that high pitched voice you use when you really want a toddler to "get" something. Clara...see Santa? Santa's nice! We like Santa! Santa brings presents! Santa's nice! We get to visit Santa! Santa's nice! And so on and so forth.

I planned to hit the downtown Santa area on Sunday morning, see Santa, get pictures, go the Hall of Fame for crafts, and grab an early lunch at the Chocolate Cafe. As we were all getting ready I had the brilliant idea to have Mike check the times for Sundays. Thank goodness, since Santa doesn't come out until noon on Sunday, and then he's there until 4. So, slight change of plans, but I figure we're going to be flexible, and it's no problem! Let's cheerfully play some board games with Olivia, get Clara down for an early nap, and head out later.

Later comes. Everyone is fed, dressed, and happy. We make the 20 minute drive to downtown, find a spot to park, and unload the kids. We head over the couple of blocks to Santa's house. I see a line, but nothing too major. We walk by where Santa should be, but he's "on break." We get to the end of the line and there is an "elf" standing there. He says to me "Santa's house closes." I respond, "yes, at 4 right?" Now, just for reference, it is 3:15 right now, and there are maybe 10-12 families in front of us. Mr Elf responds, "yes, but the line is closed, I have to draw the line somewhere." Wha-huh? It's 45 minutes before closing time, your Santa is on break (lovely that he can't make 4 hours sitting on his butt) and you're not allowing any more people into line? Seriously? This is so symptomatic of what is wrong with South Bend. They try to draw people into downtown and then when we make the considerable effort to get there, they alienate us. I said a few things, but nothing too crazy since there were children present and we left. Olivia of course was crying since she couldn't understand why Santa wouldn't see her.

My fabulous Mike makes the quick decision to pull us into the Chocolate Cafe. We ordered chocolate and the lady at the counter asks us about Santa. I told her we weren't able to see him and why. I guess it could be worse though, since she tells us that another mother had come in the week before, she was allowed in line, but the other kids took too long, and since it was 4:02 when her son got to Santa, he didn't get to see him. Yes, they closed Santa with a little kids standing there. Wow, South Bend, wow.

After the fabulous Santa debacle, we went to the mall. There were probably 25 people in front of us at the mall, we got through with pictures in 45 minutes, and there was much rejoicing. I just told Olivia that Santa had to leave downtown to make it to the mall in time to see her, and she was fine with that. Next year, we're heading to the mall and skipping downtown. And the best part, Clara didn't cry....

You got WHAT in the mail?

Oh Heaven! Guess what I just got in the mail? My annual shipment of lefse. Most people look at me like I have two heads when I tell them I love lefse, but it's just obvious to me they were neglected as children. Well that, or maybe they don't come from a Norwegian heritage. I'm leaning more towards the first though.

My background is about 50/50 German and Norwegian. My family loves to eat, but a lot of the "traditional" foods I love other people won't even taste. Or taste once, and then never again! Lefse is NOT one of those foods. It's actually a delicious tortilla like flat bread, but  it's made with potatoes instead of flour. Once it's done you can use it in a sandwich type roll, but our favorite method of serving it is spreading it with butter and sprinkling sugar on it. 

Making lefse is a long process, it takes many days and a kitchen full of special equipment. I think I was the only one on my street who's mom had a ridged rolling pin as standard equipment in her kitchen. As a child, we had lefse only at major holiday dinners.  Think Thanksgiving, Christmas, and maybe if we were lucky, Easter. 

I sadly never made lefse with my mom, so I have no idea how to do it. I do however know how to internet shop, so I put those skills to work 3 years ago when I had a 2 year old daughter who I just had to share lefse with. I scoured the internet, and chose the vendor I thought looked the closest to my family lefse. I ordered, it arrived, and the box smelled amazing. (Thanks Freddy's Lefse!). Ever since I order 3 packs for the holidays. Lefse freezes well so I put two packs away and save it for company. Because this time, you won't turn your nose up at my traditional food. Promise!

I want a hippopotamus for Christmas

Okay, maybe not an actual hippopotamus, but what I do want feels almost as impossible to obtain. All I want for Christmas is a healthy family. No, we don't have any chronic or serious illnesses, and for that, I am extremely grateful. We have however, seemed to pick up a knack for finding any illness in a 10 foot vicinity, and since we love each other so much, we do a great job spreading it around too! Over the past 6-7 weeks, we have had 4 fully healthy family members for no more than 3 days in a row. The latest bouts this week were pink eye (me), fever (Olivia & me), and sore tummies (Olivia & Clara). Since we've been so unlucky lately, I thought I would post our Christmas wish list. Just in case some of you are thinking about how to make our holidays a little brighter, here are our Christmas top 8.

8. Masks

No, we're not going all MJ on you. Masks are great at keeping germs in. And since (see above) my family likes to spread their germs, masks might cut down on that problem. Of course, we'd have to convince a 21 month old to keep a mask on her face. How hard could that be. Right?

7. Bleach wipes

Yep, self explanatory. Just used a couple hundred or so of these puppies in the past two months. Nothing says I love you like a case of bleach wipes.

6.  Hand Sanitizer

Love this stuff! And now I have Clara addicted to it too. Her sanitizer is in a pink jelly roll. And hey, since you're all such great friends, let me go ahead and give YOU a Purell jelly roll instead. Just leave a comment on this post, and we'll pick one of you to win this great green jelly roll. Perfect to take with you anywhere (if we ever left our house, I'd confirm that!)

5. Vitamin D Spray

I heard from a friend this can help prevent illness. One squirt under the tongue once a day. So now I just need   a gallon size container and we'll be good to go.

4. Non Latex Gloves

We're not allergic to latex, but I'm trying to be considerate of any guests I might have! Let me just say, thank the Lord for my husband. I know I'm a nurse, but I went into community health for a reason. I love educating and counseling, and I hate any bodily fluids. Yes, I CAN deal with them, but usually my first response is to run away while calling Mike's name loudly. And he always comes to my rescue. Love you boo!

3. Computer antivirus or Andrew Martin living in my basement

Yes, sadly, even my computer is not immune to the illness parade. For the first time ever, my computer got a virus not stopped by our antivirus software. I lost a fabulous blog post (and you'll have to just take my word for it, since it's GONE). I think because of the failure of our antivirus, I'd rather have Andrew Martin in our basement to fix the problems, so let's just change that wish to the second part.

2. A subscription to the "disease of the month" club

Great way to spice up our illness offerings. How many times can I tell people Olivia has a fever before it starts to get boring? But if I said she had Leishmaniasis, you might take a second to google it and send a get well card!

1. A bubble

Really, if you get me this gift, you can cross off all the others above. How great would it be to live in a bubble? It needs to be roomy enough for 4, climate control would be lovely, and how about a clear pinkish tint? The girls will love it, and the germs will be a thing of the past.

p.s.- I started this blog posting, and had to take a break between last night and today to take care of the ol' family. This morning at breakfast, Olivia tells me there's a delivery at the door, but no package. Look what I found outside my front door.......

It's official, Jody is a mind reader and a great friend. Watch out people, it's true!